Welcome to #4ME

A unique, free counselling service for young people in Havering, Brentwood and surrounding areas


Welcome to #4ME

A unique, free counselling service for young people in Havering, Brentwood and surrounding areas

welcome to #4me


What is #4Me?

We are a unique, free counselling service for young people in Havering, Brentwood and the surrounding areas. Our counsellors are friendly, relaxed and professional. They are well trained and have supported many young people in the past. Your wellbeing is their biggest concern.

Where does it take place?

We offer individual counselling sessions at our Hornchurch and Brentwood bases but can hold sessions at your school or college if that is what you would prefer.

How do I get in touch with you?

All you need to do is make a simple phone call to 01277 283199 to find out more or you can email us at enquiries@hbbscounselling.org.

Have a look at this website first though as it may answer some questions you may have about counselling.

Do I need an adult’s permission before I telephone you?

No. If you are 12 or over, you do not need an adult’s permission to call us or to attend counselling sessions, but any young person may also be referred by their Carers, teachers, GPs or their schools if that is what you would prefer. 


How can counselling help me?

How can counselling help me?

we understand how grief can make you feel

Do you feel like your world has been turned upside down? Are you feeling overwhelmed and that nobody understands? Did anyone teach you about grief? When someone we love dies life may never be the same. Grief is a natural response that we go through in coming to terms with our loss. Here are some of the things you may be thinking or feeling:

Gone! Why?
Right when I needed you most
Inside I feel empty, frightened and alone
Everyone else is getting on with their lives, I feel ‘different’ now
Friends don’t know what to say to me, I want to be normal


Really don’t know who I am anymore
Everything has completely changed
All I see is darkness
Life doesn’t feel safe now
Laughter and fun have gone forever
Yearly anniversaries and special occasions will be so painful


How do I carry on going to school?
Ugly thoughts keep me awake all night, I’m so tired and dazed
Rivers of tears fill my heart, I can’t bear it
Teachers just don’t understand
Sometimes I don’t want to be here anymore


All of these thoughts and feelings are normal! It helps to make sense of things by sharing your experience and being heard by somebody that DOES really understand.  A warm and caring professional bereavement counsellor can give you the time and space to really support you through your difficult time


common myths about counselling

common myths about counselling

counselling myths


#1 Counselling is for people who can't deal with their problems.

Reality:  Everyone experiences difficulties during their lifetime, being able to ask for help and gaining support from a counsellor is a sign of strength.

#2 Counselling is just talking.

Reality:  Counselling provides a space for you to think and talk about the things that are important to you.  As well as talking about things, you may choose to use art and other activities to help you tell your story.

#3 Counsellors can read your mind.

Reality:  Your counsellor will only know what you tell them. 

#4 The counsellor will judge me.

Reality:  Counsellors never judge clients.   However, when sharing difficult things it can often feel like we are being judged and it is important to tell your counsellor if you are feeling this way.  

#5 Counselling goes on forever.

Reality:  Counselling can be both long term and short term.  However, the majority of counselling is short term between eight and fifteen sessions.

# 6 The counsellor will tell my parents or my teacher what I have said.

Reality:  The things you say to the counsellor are confidential and kept between you.  The counsellor would only tell someone else if they were worried about your safety.

# 7 I have to tell the counsellor everything.

Reality:  You decide what to share in counselling and it may take a while before you are comfortable talking to your counsellor about certain things.  It is important to work at the pace you are comfortable with.

# 8 Counsellors are weird.

Reality: Counsellors are the same as everyone else.  If you don't like your counsellor you can ask to see a different counsellor.

# 9 Everyone will know I go to counselling.

Reality: Only the people you choose to tell will know you go to counselling.  You can choose to see a counsellor outside of school.

# 10 Counsellors give you advice.

Reality: The counsellor will help explore the things you want to talk about, but they will not tell you what to do.


sam's story

sam's story

how counselling helped me

When my school suggested I give counselling a try, after my Mum died last year at first I said “No way – I don’t need to see anyone!”

So they left me to think about it, but said I could just meet up with a counsellor for a chat to start with, to find out more about how counselling could maybe help me.

Once I realised I didn’t have to continue if I didn’t want to, I decided to give it a go… and I’m really glad I did because - not only was it not like I thought it would be – but it really did help me, to cope better with what I was feeling…

I began to look forward to the sessions each week as a sort of special time that was just for me. And it wasn’t all talking either: sometimes we just drew or did another activity but somehow whatever we did, I found it really helped in a way I never thought it could.

So if you’ve been offered counselling I would say “Go on - give it a go!”

You never know, like me you might be surprised to find out how much it actually helps.
— Sam


The next steps: Getting in touch

The next steps: Getting in touch

the next steps

I'm interested in finding out more about arranging counselling with #4me…what details will you need from me?

All we need is your name, date of birth, postcode and either an email address or postal address for us to contact you. To get in touch, you can either call 01277 283199 or email us at enquiries@hbbscounselling.org

Can I refer myself for counselling without getting permission from a parent or carer?

Yes if you are aged 12 and over.

Can a parent or other adult arrange counselling for me?

Yes. Like you they can either call 01277 283199 or email us at enquiries@hbbscounselling.org. We shall ask them if they have talked to you about the possibility of counselling.

Information for Parents/Carers/Teachers

The #4Me project is part of HBBS, a not-for-profit organisation founded in 1989 offering support for local people. To start with we worked just with those suffering from the effects of a close bereavement, but today we also help with other issues such as family or friendship breakdown, stress or anxiety.

Our Counsellors are all members of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (known as the BACP) and follow their Professional guidelines for good practice.

If the young person has experienced a bereavement, the counselling is free as it is funded by the Big Lottery. Charges are made for other counselling, but the costs are subsidised by our fundraising work.